While my idea of a scary toy is one colored with lead paint and/or having small, loose parts for kids to choke on.  However, this inflatable bear is not something Jeremiah Graves’ sweet dreams are made of.  From Blank Stares and Blank Pages,

If you were able to look at that and not wet yourself, you are a much better, stronger, braver person than I am, my friend.

My niece got this thing for Christmas and at first (read: when it was still flat and harmless) it seemed like a pretty innocuous child’s toy.

Then we blew the sumbitch up.

Hahaha… I think, however, the clapping monkey is pretty frightening.  Or the shave the baby doll toy.  You can see both of them here.

Photo by Alan Reeves.

The understatement of the year could be that picking a baby’s name is tough! My oldest is 21 years old and I’m still trying to come up with a name for her.  She gets mad when I make suggestions:  Elizabeth!  Hailey!  Maggie!

Yet with all the superb baby names around, I’m still kinda digging Ivy Blue – the name Jay-Z and Beyonce gave their newborn girl. Others don’t like it so much. From PopFi,

So why Blue Ivy?  I’m not sure, but I’ve heard the Ivy part is related to the way both parents love the number IV (or four for normal folks).  As for the blue, I guess they like the color?  There’s no telling why people do things like that, but as bad celebrity baby names go, it’s a far sight better than Apple and Pilot Inspektor.

Ivy is the name of one of my favorite people.

When we lost our cat Pootster a couple of years ago when she began having massive convulsions.  My own kids were – at least – teenagers, so while they were sad they understood that she was no longer in pain.  However with younger children, saying goodbye to a pet is a lot harder.  My friend Les just had to go through this with his daughters,

Felix was from a litter of kittens found at the Knoxville zoo. He was diagnosed with diabetes around five years ago. Since then we’ve been checking his blood glucose and giving him insulin and he outlived all predictions. We buried him in a wooded section of the yard and marked his grave with a stone. The girls took it pretty hard, so we had a little ceremony and everyone said something nice about Felix.

I think the best advice is to tell children that of course it hurts to say goodbye.  Then having a memorial and burying the pet can also help a child transition with this type of loss.

We’re sorry, though, for Felix.

For a Friday funny video, let’s take a look at these babies trying lemons for the first time.

Let’s go visit Twitter and see what’s funny about kids today!

blondemomblog:  My 9-year-old daughter’s pet rubber duck is getting married to a troll doll on the playground tomorrow.

mike mckenzy: Leave it to Jackson to sneak bites out of a tomato and put the half eaten fruit away in the fridge.

lanzajr26: That loud pounding noise coming from upstairs? Oh no big deal, just my daughter loading 200lbs of towels in the washer again.

cheese burgerrr: talking in the portable fan…just to make a robot voice

southerngrl27: That awkward moment ur heavyset friend says I’m hungry enough to eat a rhino and ur 3 yo points at her belly and says you did.

TJ Blickity: My nephew says “Eww” What? “My Butt just made a different stinky sound” what r u doin in there “Nothin havin a cnversation w/ my butt”

Eddie and Aaron: Eddie, 4 – “when I grow up I going to fly a fighter jet and shoot alien planes!” Who let him watch Independence Day?

Yes, bodily functions are funny. And what kids say can be embarrassing.  And who wouldn’t want to fly a fighter jet and shoot aliens?

When I see a woman breastfeeding her infant in a store, it does not occur me to be bothered by it.  In fact, I barely pay attention as it is a very natural part of being human.  Unfortunately with the onset of more formula babies and the fact that our country is very puritanical, we don’t actually see it a lot.  As a result, people tend to get bent out of shape when they do see mothers breastfeeding in public places.

However, it’s good to remind people that it is a normal, healthy part of raising a child.  This is why I was happy to see the “Nurse-In” at Target stores throughout the country following a situation before Christmas where one Mom was asked to cover up.  According to ABC News,

Last month at a Webster, Texas Target store, Hickman began nursing her fussy, hungry infant son in the store’s women’s clothing section. Hickman, 35, said that eight Target employees eventually surrounded her and two asked her to move to a fitting room to finish nursing. The other employees, she said, rolled their eyes at her and gave her dirty looks.

Hickman said she tried explaining that Texas law allowed her to breastfeed in public, but the employees wouldn’t listen.

She was surrounded by eight employees? I’d think that spectacle would cause a far greater scene than a single breastfeeding mother. Kudos to the Moms that participated at the end of December!

If you could describe 2011 with just one word, what would it be?  Frustrating. Happy. Why. I could not settle on just one single word.  But as we say goodbye to this year past, here are some of my favorite posts.

The War Against the Holidays – When a person – via spoken word, email, card, text, or facebook message – wishes me a happy holiday or sends me seasons greetings, I am not offended.  It makes me happy that someone took the time to wish me joy during the season!

What To Do When a Child is Abused – Physical abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, abuse by neglect, and abuse by placing children in bad and unacceptable situations – all are devastating to a child.  And then add sexual abuse to the mix and the lives that are altered in unimaginable ways grow disproportionately. There are no excuses for this abuse.  There are no excuses for NOT REPORTING this abuse (or any other).  As adults, we MUST do what is often difficult and terrifying. But remember – your own difficulties and terror PALE in comparison to what an abused child goes through.

My Baby Turned 21 Today- I found myself always holding her, even when she slumbered.  I sat in my bentwood rocker and looked at the leaves turning gold outside while I cuddled my newborn.  Sleepy. Exhausted. Sore.  They were the happiest days of my life.

Guilty of Unfriending the Annoying – ??  UNFRIEND! I have empowered myself to just say no.  To not let those who constantly annoy me take up my valuable computer time with witless repeats of ridiculous posts.

Don’t Mess With Mama – Whoever said raising a son is easy hasn’t met my boy. The little prince (and I use that term loosely as of late) is about to turn nine years old. He is apparently at “that” age. You know the one, were he likes to test the adults to see what all he can get away with.

Why My House is a Mess – I only finished one coffee table – cleaned and dusted!  I started on the buffet next to the stairs and stopped… there’s a chance I might have said a little wirty-dord in the process.  Why? Because every time I tried to put something away – endless undone pieces of projects – someone would fuss.  “Why did you put that in a drawer? It’s out of sight so I won’t remember to do it.”

I’ll Be That Mom – I once had a shirt that upon reflection was pretty hideous.  I realized how bad it was when my husband and I were driving and I glanced at the 65-year old(‘ish) woman we were passing.  We had twin shirts.  That particular white with purple and blue flowered garment became a part of my pajama drawer.

Murphy’s Law of Family – Driving in the car last night, my daughter got angry at me and yelled, “Big Stupid!” in my direction.  My husband and I discussed with her how she’d like it if we nicknamed her Big Stupid.

Family. Perhaps that’s the one word that would best describe 2011 for me.  I’ll miss this year, but am looking forward to new adventures with the husband and kids in 2012.

Photo by Ben Fitzgerald-O’Connor.

Get the Elf off the shelf and shove it to the back of a dark deep closet.  Okay, I know that’s probably very anti-Christmas of me to say, but I think the little fellas are just creepy.  Perhaps that’s the point… that the elf is WATCHING YOU and reporting back to Santa.

One of my friends posted dozens of photos of the activities she planned around the elf with her own children. There was the day for the “Magic Elf Seeds” where her kids planted peppermints in a bowl of oatmeal dirt.  One morning her kids woke up with “red noses” – a prank by the elf (they knew this because a card said, “Go look in the mirror! Tee hee!”).  The elf supervised a gingerbread house party where a group of kids each got to decorate their own house.   And one morning, the kids woke up to find miniature marshmallows scattered around stuffed animals who had a marshmallow fight (see photo).

First, this seems like an awful lot of work (in my opinion).  Second, I think that the elf causes that kind of mischief is not really a good thing.  Third, how creepy that an elf is “watching” the kids and pulling pranks?!?!

I agree, I agree, I agree (did I say I agree?) with what Jamie of Blonde Mom Blog says,

Suddenly, however, there are minions of mothers hell bent on destroying those of us who subscribe to the quaint and simple Elf on a Shelf fun. These Elf on a Shelfinistas continually set the bar higher with elaborate Elf on a Shelf pranks and portrait sessions that take longer than the Kardashians’ annual Christmas card photo shoot.

I see all you jacked up on eggnog moms posting your artsy fartsy Instagram pictures of your Elf on a Shelf. You’ve got your thrill-seeking zip lining elves, your makeshift hot tub in a coffee mug elves, and your “don’t be naughty” note writing elves.

Sheesh!  Cut it out already!

PS – I love you Angie even though I think this whole elf trend you are perpetrating is crazy!