Flipping channels this morning, I came across yet another reality show…”Momster of the Bride”.  The name says it all.  I watched the show in it’s entirety, becoming more and more disgusted with the behavior of this so-called “parent”.  I was reminded of the situation a friend is in regarding her wedding, and her mother’s desperate need to control it.

So far, my friend has compromised on the location of both the ceremony itself and the reception.  She’s been almost harassed by her mother’s side of the family regarding religious views and traditions, and she’s been challenged down to the contents of the guest list. 

Remembering my own wedding and the compromises we made (although not for my mom…she was great), I started thinking about alternatives to the traditional wedding that causes so much stress. 

• My friend mentioned above has just found out that the all inclusive resort they booked for their honeymoon offers a FREE beach wedding in Mexico.  That’s enough to make me get married again!
• My mom heard of a couple inviting all of their friends to a huge barbecue.  When the guests arrived, they were told that they were to be witnesses to the host’s wedding!  What a perfect way to alleviate the pressure from the control freaks!
• Many couples opt out of a traditional wedding ceremony and simply get married by a Justice of the Peace.  They use the money saved on either a big honeymoon or a fun reception…or both!

As the big wedding season approaches, far too many brides are more anxious to get the ceremony behind them, feeling way too much pressure and conflict.  If this is the case, consider a different approach.  It is YOUR day.  Enjoy it!

Photo by Johnny Jet via Flickr Creative Commons.

Photo by KOMUnews via Flickr Creative Commons. 

 It’s fair to say that my family has faced it’s share of stress lately.  We have a lot going on, and we’re struggling to keep things as normal as possible for the children’s sake.  So, Saturday evening we sat down with our 2 year old while his sister was visiting her grandparents.  He immediately looked to me and told me that he wanted to play with his sister.  “Emma’s at Grammy’s,” I told him, “Would you like Mommy and Daddy to play with you?”  He looked at me with those big puppy dog eyes (which he was already struggling to keep open), and said, “Dat make me so happy!”  Our hearts melted.  Tears filled my husbands eyes, and of course, I cried like a baby.  We dried up our tears, and the three of us read books and pushed trains on the couch.  Within 30 minutes he was sound asleep, dreaming of his awesome night with Mommy and Daddy! 

We as parents often struggle so hard to make our children happy that we forget just how easy it is!  My guess is that at least 95% of us would look back to our childhoods and agree that our memories are not centered around material things, but the time we spent with family and friends.  I’ve been thinking over the last couple of days of ways that I can offer my children more opportunities for these lasting memories.  I’ve come up with a few.

• Visit a park for a walk or a picnic…leave the phones and travel video games at home or in the car!!!
• Family game night…without the tv!  You’ll find you actually have a lot to talk about.
• Host a barbecue or informal dinner with another family or two.  Hang out outside and allow yourself to breathe in the fresh air.  Set up some outdoor games and include the kids.
• Cook a family dinner together.  Again, leave the television off.  However, we have fun dancing to loud music when we cook!

There are many ways to “reconnect” as a family.  Remember what it’s all about.  Life is too short.  Take the time to appreciate the little things!  Start now…not everyone will have a smart two year old to remind them!

Some of us will choose to stay at home on Valentine’s Day, and spend the day with our children.  Don’t make it just another Sunday.  Find something fun and exciting to do as a family.  This is the perfect opportunity to take in some of that much-needed family time you’ve been craving! 

Try some of these ideas:

• Bake cupcakes or cookies.  Allow all of the children to take part.
• Ask the children to plan the dinner menu, and, if age appropriate, have them help cook the meal.
• Game Day!  Spend a few hours playing family-friendly games.  Snack on munchies the kids helped make.
• Watch a movie…or two…or three!  Make popcorn - air poppers are a fun addition!
• Scrapbook - Provide supplies for the kids to put together their own scrapbooks or scrapbook pages.  Maybe you could even find photos of past Valentine’s Days.

Whatever you decide to do, remind the kids of what the day is really about…spending time with the people you love.  It’s amazing what a little “together time” can do for today’s busy family!

Photo by VMiramontes via Flickr Creative Commons.

I have to admit, I’ve never cared much for Valentine’s Day.  To me, it has just been an excuse for florists to jack up their prices!  I’ve alway felt like people should let the people they love know this on an everyday basis.  But, as I get older, and time with my husband becomes more and more valued, so does the the “idea” of that special day to celebrate our love. 

Now, the question arises…What are we doing on Valentine’s Day?  We’ve done the usual dinner and a movie.  But by the time we wait in line for two hours at the restaurant, eat, then sit through the two hour movie, the night is over.  Sometimes that route is more stressful than enjoyable.  So, I’ve done a little research, and have found some fun, different, and sometimes even FREE Valentine’s date ideas.

I, personally, love the idea of a date that allows for communication.  If you have children, you know exactly what I mean.  A few hours talking to your spouse is almost unheard of in the everyday life of today’s busy families.  A few of my favorites are :

• A picnic…outdoors or indoors…takeout or homemade.  Be creative about the place. 
• Take a hike…together, of course.  Bundle up and go for a walk.
• Plan a game night for just the two of you.  Think about it…how long has it been since you’ve done this without the kids?
• Cook a meal TOGETHER.  This can be really fun without the added stress of the kids fighting in the background.

There really are some great ideas out there.  If these ideas don’t appeal to you, try doing a little research of your own.  One of my favorite resources is Coolest Dates.  This site offers lots of ideas for many occasions, even for different age groups.   Whatever you decide to do with that special someone, ENJOY IT!  After all, Valentine’s only comes once a year!

Photo by Illusive Photograpy via Flicker Creative Commons.

I am pleased to introduce Mandi as the newest writer for the Shak family.  Mandi is a mom, wife, and pet lover.  Her stories are real, her experiences funny.  Please make her feel at home!

As my first post, it seems logical to tell you a little about myself. So, here goes…

My husband and I live with our two children, one boy and one girl, in a brick home on a hill. We have a white picket fence surrounding our house, which sits on 25 acres of rolling hills and valleys. It’s a lot to keep up with, so I am assisted by two nannies and a WONDERFUL housekeeper.

Wait…wait…wait…um…my mind was traveling back to my dream last night. I apologize. Here’s the real story…My husband and I have two wonderful children, an 8-year old girl and 2-year old boy. We live in a typical “cookie cutter” home with our two dogs and cat. Our home is so close to our neighbor’s house that we do sometimes hear the tantrums of the three children who live next door. So, in short, no “yard man” is needed! Unfortunately, needed or not, the two nannies and housekeeper are also not part of our world.

My husband started his business right as the economy tanked about two years ago. That’s been interesting. I have been a stay at home mom since the birth of my daughter almost nine years ago. My three year job search has become both irritating and boring. I believe it is safe to say that our family sees or has seen many of the everyday struggles that many families are experiencing these days.

I hold a Bachelors Degree in Family and Consumer Services with an emphasis on Child Development and Family Studies. In theory, this makes me an expert in almost all aspects of family life…from morning sickness to adult diapers. Since graduating from college in 1997, I have been humbled to learn that, although book knowledge is a wonderful and useful tool, experience is the best education!

I welcome the opportunity to write on a regular basis. I have to admit, though, that I do believe it will be a challenge. For years, I’ve said that anything in writing can be used as “evidence”!!! I now have the chance to test my theory! Hopefully, we will all learn a little, and the only evidence will be that of my budding self-confidence!

Marriage proposals can be sweet, romantic, fast, slow, boring, amazing, flattering, and … go ahead and fill in your own words!  They can be as creative as the person asking and Derick Childress has proven creativity has no bounds!

Using a technique called Light Writing, he used stop motion animation to  inquire,

EMILY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Derick explains how he did it,

I knew I wanted to find a very special way to propose to a very special woman.  I liked the look of light writing, but I wanted to do something on a much larger scale.  To my knowledge, a light writing of this size had never been done before.  I had the idea of placing a camera at the top of a tall building and mapping out the words “Emily, will you marry me?” over part of the city.

Here’s the video,

I’m still not sure whether or not Emily said yes, but I hope she did.

A friend of mine was recently telling me about the anniversary gift her husband had given her. Was it a fabulous trip to somewhere romantic? Did it follow the traditional anniversary guidelines? Heck, no.

No, he got her a video game. That he’s been wanting for awhile. When she called him on it, his lame excuse was, “Well, I thought we could play it together.” Except the game is one player. My friend supposes that he expects to play while she watches. You know, good, quality time together. Heh.

Sounds like this guy should have taken my buddy Shane’s advice on buying your spouse an anniversary gift they’ll love.

Tell me, what’s the best anniversary gift you have received? What’s the worst?

See the ring in the middle? When my grandfather was in the Aleutian Islands, he was missing my grandma and didn’t have a ton of money to buy her a gift and send to her. So, he took a quarter into the machine shop and came up with that ring I’m wearing right there in the middle. My grandma, even though she took off her wedding rings when her husband passed away, wore the quarter ring for the rest of her life.

And now it’s mine. Someday, it will belong to my daughter, but for now, it is mine. It’s a great reminder that love doesn’t require fancy gifts or anything more than your time and energy.

At the end of a long day, it is nice to have a little something just for you. Call it an mental escape or just a well deserved break. Many people find a hot bath to be relaxing. Others might find a long walk to be beneficial. It is just a way to get some peace and gather your thoughts.

My escape is my favorite show…Day’s of Our Lives! I have watched this for over 20 years. I tape it each day and watch it right before bed. It is just for me and is my little reward at the end of the day. It helps me to unwind and get lost in the drama of the character’s lives.

Do you have a relaxing routine at the end of your day? Also, any fellow Day’s fans out there?

Sensuality involves how sight, sound and touch effects the way you feel. It is an awareness of what the senses perceive. The degree of your sensuality is a factor in how you experience life.

This Time ~ This Space has an enlightening article called "Take the Test: How Sensual Are You?". I really enjoyed reading this post and also taking the test. The message I took from it is to try and live in the moment a little bit more.

I have always appreciated beautiful scenery and certain smells. The smell of cut grass will always bring back memories of my childhood. The smell of gas reminds me of boating with my family. The sound of a diesel engine reminds me of my brother-in-law and his family that moved away and are missed. Blue has always had a calming effect on my mood. Certain songs have the ability to change my mood completely. The senses really play a huge part in your life from minute to minute.

On the How Sensual Are You test, I scored a 69. The results say that I have found a good balance between enjoying my senses and keeping my emotions balanced. I am pleased with the results but it has inspired me to try and tap into my sensual side more often. What do you think your score will be?