We are living in a strange time.  Every day families are adjusting to the changes brought on by a miserable economy (which is thankfully slowly climbing out of the dark hole it plunged into).  We wiggle here, poke there, and do what needs to be done to try to restore some semblance of the normal we took for granted just a few short years ago.

This post by Shauna at *O Pish Posh* brought tears to my eyes as she describes her experiences,

We can’t eat lunch together anymore. These days he ventures out for fast food near his office, or takes recommendations for something decent to eat in whatever city he’s visiting for the week. She giggles with her new friends in the cafeteria at 10:20 in the freaking morning. Me? I talk to Zoe Pudl at the kitchen table. The dog is clearly disappointed that I don’t drop crumbs the way Pea does.

Lives are changing all around us. Kids grow up, go to college, start new jobs, get married.  Husbands mourn lost jobs and struggle to find their place in the new world.  Wives fight for the well being of their families.  Some how. Some way.

Photo by DNA Michaud via flickr creative commons.

When my children were young, I missed out on a lot of volunteer opportunities because I was chained to a desk in a very stressful, demanding job.  I would drop off my oldest at school at 7:30 a.m., then go directly to the office - at work by 7:45.  Most days I wouldn’t leave until at least 6:00 p.m.  There was one summer I recall that I literally had TWO days off the entire summer - and that included weekends.

I missed out on being in the PTA, being a Girl Scout leader, room mom, taking my child to dance class, and so much more.

That’s why when we moved and I got my real estate license I was rolling in my free time much like the rich might roll in their money.  Yes, I worked hard but because I had the ability to set my own schedule I was sure to leave time open to spend with my daughters.  I was a Girl Scout leader of one troop, co-leader of another, served as PTO volunteer and then president, and became the taxi service for baton twirling class, taking kids to movies, and more.

I went from one extreme to another.  After five years, though, I’ve learned to balance things more.  I gave up the top leadership role in my daughter’s Girl Scout troop - being co-leader is fine with me.  After five extremely successful years of baton twirling, I didn’t put up a fight when my daughter said she was okay with leaving.  And now that my oldest daughter drives, I relax a little when she’s home on weekends because she can make the store run for milk or those monthly girlie products.

Like me, Blonde Mom has also learned the importance of saying no and balancing your commitments,

About 16 of us gathered at a table and a veteran troop leader approached us, gave us the scoop, and cheerfully and matter-of-factly said, “OK ya’ll have enough interest to form your own troop. Two of you need to decide who will be co-leaders before you leave tonight!” and walked off. We all looked at each other and I sat on my hands, I must confess, to keep myself from volunteering.

Jamie links to another writer who says life is too short to fold fitted sheets.  (But if you want to know how to fold a fitted sheet, read about it here… the site that also provided the photo!)

Kangaroo care is where a mother holds an infant very close to her chest to keep it warm, skin-to-skin, make the baby feel safe, talk softly, and cover it with Mommy’s love.  This hug recently saved a preemie newborn’s life in Australia.

Kate Ogg gave birth to twins at 27 weeks into the pregnancy, but the hospital staff pronounced baby Jamie to be clinically dead.  The midwife handed over the wee baby to his Mom so she could say goodbye.

Ms. Ogg, however, had read about kangaroo care… where a mother’s tender touch and nurturing can be the deciding factor on whether a premature baby lives.  She and her husband David spent two hours cuddling the dying baby, telling him that his twin Emily wanted him, and loving him when a miracle occurred.  Their touch through Kangaroo Care brought him back.

If you want to watch the touching video and Today Show interview, go here.  It’s truly a beautiful piece on how love can save a life.

Photo from New York Daily News.

A certain teenager in my house is a Girl Scout.  She doesn’t want anyone to know since she’s 15-years old and perhaps a little embarrassed by it.  She can deny her membership to her friends, but she can not deny the fun she’s had throughout the years - camping, rock climbing, canoeing, trips to amusement parks, hiking in the mountains.  We’ve done a lot, this troop.

Perhaps nothing will compare to what we have planned in two years… a trip to London, England to visit the Pax Lodge for a week.

To fund it, parents, family and friends are working the concession stand of a major entertainment arena that allows non-profit groups to come in as a fundraiser.  However, we didn’t think it would be fair for only the parents to do the heavy lifting and the troop members not do anything.  As a result, we’re requiring the girls to participate in a minimum of four hours of community service every month between now and then.

Tonight my Erin is volunteering to work at an elementary school open house while I’ll slinging hotdogs and popcorn to people attending a huge concert.  Other work the girls of the troop have done: volunteering at a food pantry, helping at charity car shows, being a camp counselor during the summer at Girl Scout camps, and helping make corsages for the local senior citizens center as they got ready for their “senior” prom.

I hope through their work in the community, they will continue as adult volunteers throughout their life.  Helping each other may truly be the building blocks of our nation recovering from this massive recession.

This may be one of those waaaay out there assertions, but social media may be the latest diagnosis tool in determining mental illness.  I believe my cousin’s daughter is suffering from manic depression… or from anger management issues, at least.

Bless her heart (as we’re apt to say here in the South), at least every other post she writes on Facebook is filled with rage, anger, depression, more anger or sadness.  On occasion she’ll talk about her 8-month old infant and express her deep love for him.  It’s up and down that roller coaster she rides.

However, my alarms are going off in my head because mood change is one of the biggest indicators of teen depression.  Given the family history of mental health issues, I’ve been hesitant to say anything to her Mom (my cousin), however, I’ll be reading her posts carefully to see if there are any significant changes.  Any major shift and I will be in touch with her Mom to express my concern and suggest counseling for the young lady.

I hope if / when I do, I won’t become a family pariah for speaking up… it is a closed-mouth group that they are - especially when it comes to mental health, money, and close relationships.

Photo from LiveStrong.com.

How do you tell your kids about the loss of a job for one of the major household bread winners? This predicament is becoming more common as parents are laid off with jobs being transferred to India, factory closings, and other business reductions due to the still unsteady economy.

For young children, perhaps nothing needs to be said other than, “Play time!”

As children get older, it’s important not to transfer your stress to them - to allow them to be children even when money is tight.  You can explain that although the parent no longer works at a certain place, they will be looking for a job somewhere else and with prayers, patience, and perhaps some sacrifice (no more splurge buys at the local discount store) everything will be okay.

Teenage children are another story entirely.  Be honest with them.  Let them know - like with kids a bit younger - that the parent will continue to look for another job.  But ask for their help.  See if they can come up with ideas to help cut expenses or save money.

You might be surprised at their creativity and at what they’re willing to give up to help the family.

Photo by Banalities via flickr creative commons.

I watch television shows like “Survivorman” and “Man vs. Wild” with keen interest.  Not that I’d ever find myself in a situation where I’d have to urinate in the water to attract a shark so I can jump on top of it, wrestle it, and have some protein for dinner…

Still, I wonder what kind of boys these TV hosts must have been to grow into men knowing this.  What kind of heart attacks did their mothers have as the boys brought in bark to boil for tea or edible bugs for dinner.  Did the moms stress when the kids went camping with their scouting troop?  Did they hyperventilate if Dad took them hiking?

I have never had boys to raise but my friends who do say they are very different from raising girls.  Boys - they say - tend to be more boisterous and fearless.  They won’t blink an eye to climb up on a roof to jump onto the back of a truck.  They will scamper up a tree to throw down a parachuted plastic army guy.

The worst that happened to my kids is when my oldest climbed a bookcase that wasn’t attached to the wall.  It fell over, but was thankfully stopped by another piece of furniture before hitting my daughter.

What’s the most dangerous thing your child did while growing up?

My friend’s husband passed away over the weekend after experiencing head trauma from a fall.  While my friend is grieving as adults do, her daughter may need special care as she copes with the sudden loss of her stepfather.  We have already talked about grief counseling for the teenager because when a child at that age loses someone close to them, their already fragile emotional state can be shattered.

According to Hospice, there are several signs that parents must watch for when a teen is in a state of grieving.  Parents should watch for dropping grades, depression, risk taking, too much sleeping (or not enough), slipping relationships with family and friends, and denying that there is a problem.

One of the best things to do is talk openly about the loss of a loved one.  Do not hesitate to seek help from a trained therapist, group counseling, or a church group.  Teenagers are naturally social beings and by spending time with other people who understand the pain they are feeling, they will be able to cope more easily and eventually recover.

Another option to consider is a “bereavement camp” for children ages 7 to 17.  Located in California, Texas, Virginia, New Jersey and Massachusetts, the camps are free of charge and “include confidence building programs and age-based support groups that break the emotional isolation grief often brings.”

For more information about the camp, visit their website here.

My friend texted me yesterday that she needed prayers.  Her husband had a seizure and they needed a miracle.  I was finally able to talk with her this afternoon about what happened.  When he seized, he fell and his head hit the cement driveway.  His brain has swelled to the point where there is now no brain wave activity.

I have been praying for him.  For her.  For the whole family.

This accident reminds us about how life sometimes changes suddenly and drastically.  Tim had his share of demons to wrestle.  When he was good, he was very very good.  But when he was bad, he was terrible.  However, the tragedy of someone in his 40’s suddenly cut off from talking to his family and the family’s subsequent unexpected loss is devastating.

Today, this weekend, this year … take a few moments to tell the people you love the most how much they mean to you.  Take the time to give a hug.  Hold hands.  Bring someone a cup of coffee or chocolate milk.  Make some toast and share it.  Or make a cake to celebrate nothing in particular, but everything good in the world.

We have but one life to make the most of and how many of us really capture every moment that we can to create happy memories?

Photo by Evelyn Giggle via flickr creative commons.

Today was the first day back to school for my sophomore.  Oddly, this year it really hit me that the baby is growing up - almost too quickly!  One would think the freshman year would do it, but because my oldest daughter started college last year (I had two freshmen), her moving out had more of an emotional impact than the baby’s first year of high school.

The second year of high school, though.  She has a new principal this year, although it’s actually the one she had in middle school.  He’s a strict overseer and that will be good given the way her school has been out-of-control these last few years.  There is one staircase with a bad nickname because at the bottom is the hiding place where high school “couples” go.  He’s already put a stop to that.

The school is also much cleaner - he brought over his head custodian who brought in his people.  All trusted to work hard and do what has to be done.  They’ve already painted the school hallways.  Now they’re working on the rodent problem.

When is your first day of school?  How much did you spend on new clothes?  School supplies?  For my two girls, I spent about $400 on clothes and $100 on school supplies.

Flickr Creative Commons photo by Kevin Dooley.