Nothing is more maddening than waiting in the car line to drop the kids off at school and the car in front of you just sits there.  And sits.  And sits.  Finally, a kid gets out then reaches back inside the car to get his or her backpack.  Puts it on.  Then reaches back in the car ONCE AGAIN to grab a book or money or whatever else they were not organized enough to have ready when they reached the front of the line.

This drives me nuts!

Busy Mom doesn’t like it much either.  That’s why she takes steps ahead of time to have the kids ready when they reach the front of the line,

I would get them to unbuckle their seat belts when we were a couple of car lengths away from the drop-off zone and put their backpacks on so they’d be ready to get out of the car quickly.

For no particular reason, I’d say, “Time to unbuckle, Chuckle.”, and that just kind of stuck.

The family must be a riot to be around because they figured the “uckle” would now be started with the day of the week… (M)uckle, (T)uckle, (W)uckle.  Until Friday. Then it’s Zuckle.  Wise decision, friend.

Photo by thienzieyung via flickr creative commons.

My friend has gone through a lot these last three years.  Typical Americans, they have faced medical problems, job loss, foreclosure, moving due to foreclosure - right alongside trying to raise young children.

While we as parents try to keep our children stress-free, sometimes it will trickle down to them.  Children react differently to stress, but one result my friend’s daughter is experiencing is food obsession.

Her daughter is in the third grade, but has put on quite a bit of weight in the last year.  My friend was already concerned, but grew even more worried when she found food hidden in her daughter’s closet.  There were full bags of unopened potato chips, cookies, and other snacks tucked in the back under a pile of clothing.

Perhaps the top reaction a parent can have when they’ve discovered something like this or their children have started eating unhealthily is to not freak out.  A parent should approach the subject with a lot of sensitivity and in a gentle way, but more importantly - stop bringing unhealthy food into the house.  Concentrate shopping on fruit, vegetables, and other healthy foods.

The biggest concern is that with economic stress, the most important thing a parent needs to do may be out of reach:  counseling.

For more information, visit the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.  The site offers links about who to contact for a variety of eating issues.

The recession has drastically reduced enrollment in after-school programs across the country.  For example, my youngest daughter has been a baton twirler for five years.  When she started, there were about 10 people in her beginner class.  Today, classes began again and only one new girl was there.

Throughout the nation, after school activities are seeing fewer participants in fields like dance, baton twirling, karate, and other privately operated groups.

Programs funded outside of the parents’ pocketbooks are finding more success, although they are also struggling to hold onto funding from schools, state grants, and other sources.

More and more, organizations are looking at alternate funding sources, including seeking 501(c)3 status to allow for tax-free donations by businesses and corporations, restructuring methods of bringing the classes to students, and opening discussion with parents to help come up with constructive ideas.

Has your favorite organization been affected or impacted?

Photo by timstock-ny via flickr creative commons.

How do you tell your kids about the loss of a job for one of the major household bread winners? This predicament is becoming more common as parents are laid off with jobs being transferred to India, factory closings, and other business reductions due to the still unsteady economy.

For young children, perhaps nothing needs to be said other than, “Play time!”

As children get older, it’s important not to transfer your stress to them - to allow them to be children even when money is tight.  You can explain that although the parent no longer works at a certain place, they will be looking for a job somewhere else and with prayers, patience, and perhaps some sacrifice (no more splurge buys at the local discount store) everything will be okay.

Teenage children are another story entirely.  Be honest with them.  Let them know - like with kids a bit younger - that the parent will continue to look for another job.  But ask for their help.  See if they can come up with ideas to help cut expenses or save money.

You might be surprised at their creativity and at what they’re willing to give up to help the family.

Photo by Banalities via flickr creative commons.

My friend texted me yesterday that she needed prayers.  Her husband had a seizure and they needed a miracle.  I was finally able to talk with her this afternoon about what happened.  When he seized, he fell and his head hit the cement driveway.  His brain has swelled to the point where there is now no brain wave activity.

I have been praying for him.  For her.  For the whole family.

This accident reminds us about how life sometimes changes suddenly and drastically.  Tim had his share of demons to wrestle.  When he was good, he was very very good.  But when he was bad, he was terrible.  However, the tragedy of someone in his 40’s suddenly cut off from talking to his family and the family’s subsequent unexpected loss is devastating.

Today, this weekend, this year … take a few moments to tell the people you love the most how much they mean to you.  Take the time to give a hug.  Hold hands.  Bring someone a cup of coffee or chocolate milk.  Make some toast and share it.  Or make a cake to celebrate nothing in particular, but everything good in the world.

We have but one life to make the most of and how many of us really capture every moment that we can to create happy memories?

Photo by Evelyn Giggle via flickr creative commons.

Erin has a Facebook account.  Not very many people DON’T have Facebook accounts these days.  I watch her account fairly closely to make sure that she minds her manners and that her friends do the same.

However, my phone started ringing this afternoon at about 4:45 p.m. from parents calling about a photo that was posted.  It was pornography and my daughter was tagged in the picture.

It seems like Erin accepted a friend request from a “girl” who was also friends with 20 other of her friends.  She accepted it thinking, “Oh. She must go to my high school.”  About three days later the photo appeared.  I won’t say what it was and I know the definition of “obscene” is based on how a local community defines it.  But I assure you, no matter what community you live in - even by the loosest standards - that community would say, “Oh heck no.  That is obscene!”

Thankfully I had my daughter’s password so went in to the account, reported Hillary C. (email me if you want to know her full name) to the administrators at Facebook, untagged my daughter’s picture, and unfriended her.  I had to do all that in order to remove it from everyone’s pages… from her grandparents, our family friends, aunts, uncles, cousins… and all 546 friends she has.

I think it’s time she cleans up her friend list.  Or I’ll be doing it for her.  Keep an eye on your child’s accounts, parents.  Bad things happen to good people.

Photo by Lawton Chiles via flickr creative commons.

Play time for a boy and his dog.

Washing the sliding door time for Aunt Kathy.

I have discovered one sure-fire way to get kids to help around the house without resorting to yelling, threatening, or bringing Dr. Spock psychology into the picture. Find a lost kitty.

I give you Cali the Calico.  (Original, I know…)

She was abandoned with her brothers and sisters in some woods along a deserted road.  The other kittens were saved but Cali eluded the rescuers for weeks.  Until I came along with a soft voice and a can of cat food.  (Just call me the cat whisperer)…

Now I’d like to find another home for her and - in fact - have found not one, but TWO takers.  But I’m out-voted in the family.  Instead I say, “If you want to keep Cali then I need to see some more personal responsibility.  Go feed the dogs!  Clean up your room!”

And the work is getting done.  Maybe I will let this cat stay.

We are leaving for vacation next week for a week near the ocean!  Okay, so my husband and oldest daughter Annie will have more fun since Erin and I will be spending our time in a gym at a baton twirling competition, but we will still have a couple of days to play!  Yay us!

However, since money has been tight this year I’ve been trying to come up with ways to save money while still having fun.  Here are some tips:

• Pack a cooler with plenty to drink: water, juice, soda.
• When you’re ready for lunch, pull into a grocery store and pick up some lunch meat, bread, and chips. You can have a picnic lunch at a rest area for under $10 rather than expensive unhealthy meals from a fast food restaurant.
• Use your cruise control. By maintaining a steady speed, you’ll improve your MPG.
• Kick off the air conditioner when the car is climbing a big hill or mountain to again use less gas.
• If you’re staying at a hotel, pick one that serves a hot or continental breakfast.
• Select a hotel that also offers free wi-fi rather than paying $8 or $20 p/day (if you HAVE to bring your computer).
• Don’t forget your beach towels!  Buying towels at those yucky tourist traps gets expensive!
• Make a packing list at least a week in advance so you can add to it as you remember items.  It’s a lot less expensive bringing your toothpaste from home than it is going out a buying yet another tube.
• If you do forget something, try to get off the beaten path to find a grocery store or discount store rather than picking up a 4-pack of double-A batteries for some outrageous price at one of the tourist stores.

Have a great vacation!

I didn’t know Bean, but my heart cries for her and for her parents.  A year ago today Bean was born and then died.  Her Mom’s words are poignant,

“Life goes on, even when you’re angry with it. Even when you hate the Sun for rising and setting on another unjust day.” … THEN “When you talk to the Sun next, baby Bean, tell him Mama says Thank You. Then kick him in the shin. He’ll know what it means.”

Bean’s Dad also speaks eloquently of her memory,

I do think about her.  I think about her a lot.  Not everyday, not for days on end on occasion, but I probably think about her more days than not.  She’s my baby girl.  How could I not?

I do wonder what she would’ve been like, as a child, as a teenager, as an adult, I wonder.  I wonder, as is I think natural, about those lost potentials.  I miss that I’ll never experience those with her.  I would’ve liked too.

For Bean and her parents today… our thoughts are with you and we wish you peace. If you want to see Bean’s picture, visit her Dad’s site here.