When my children were young, I missed out on a lot of volunteer opportunities because I was chained to a desk in a very stressful, demanding job.  I would drop off my oldest at school at 7:30 a.m., then go directly to the office - at work by 7:45.  Most days I wouldn’t leave until at least 6:00 p.m.  There was one summer I recall that I literally had TWO days off the entire summer - and that included weekends.

I missed out on being in the PTA, being a Girl Scout leader, room mom, taking my child to dance class, and so much more.

That’s why when we moved and I got my real estate license I was rolling in my free time much like the rich might roll in their money.  Yes, I worked hard but because I had the ability to set my own schedule I was sure to leave time open to spend with my daughters.  I was a Girl Scout leader of one troop, co-leader of another, served as PTO volunteer and then president, and became the taxi service for baton twirling class, taking kids to movies, and more.

I went from one extreme to another.  After five years, though, I’ve learned to balance things more.  I gave up the top leadership role in my daughter’s Girl Scout troop - being co-leader is fine with me.  After five extremely successful years of baton twirling, I didn’t put up a fight when my daughter said she was okay with leaving.  And now that my oldest daughter drives, I relax a little when she’s home on weekends because she can make the store run for milk or those monthly girlie products.

Like me, Blonde Mom has also learned the importance of saying no and balancing your commitments,

About 16 of us gathered at a table and a veteran troop leader approached us, gave us the scoop, and cheerfully and matter-of-factly said, “OK ya’ll have enough interest to form your own troop. Two of you need to decide who will be co-leaders before you leave tonight!” and walked off. We all looked at each other and I sat on my hands, I must confess, to keep myself from volunteering.

Jamie links to another writer who says life is too short to fold fitted sheets.  (But if you want to know how to fold a fitted sheet, read about it here… the site that also provided the photo!)

This may be one of those waaaay out there assertions, but social media may be the latest diagnosis tool in determining mental illness.  I believe my cousin’s daughter is suffering from manic depression… or from anger management issues, at least.

Bless her heart (as we’re apt to say here in the South), at least every other post she writes on Facebook is filled with rage, anger, depression, more anger or sadness.  On occasion she’ll talk about her 8-month old infant and express her deep love for him.  It’s up and down that roller coaster she rides.

However, my alarms are going off in my head because mood change is one of the biggest indicators of teen depression.  Given the family history of mental health issues, I’ve been hesitant to say anything to her Mom (my cousin), however, I’ll be reading her posts carefully to see if there are any significant changes.  Any major shift and I will be in touch with her Mom to express my concern and suggest counseling for the young lady.

I hope if / when I do, I won’t become a family pariah for speaking up… it is a closed-mouth group that they are - especially when it comes to mental health, money, and close relationships.

Photo from LiveStrong.com.

My friend has gone through a lot these last three years.  Typical Americans, they have faced medical problems, job loss, foreclosure, moving due to foreclosure - right alongside trying to raise young children.

While we as parents try to keep our children stress-free, sometimes it will trickle down to them.  Children react differently to stress, but one result my friend’s daughter is experiencing is food obsession.

Her daughter is in the third grade, but has put on quite a bit of weight in the last year.  My friend was already concerned, but grew even more worried when she found food hidden in her daughter’s closet.  There were full bags of unopened potato chips, cookies, and other snacks tucked in the back under a pile of clothing.

Perhaps the top reaction a parent can have when they’ve discovered something like this or their children have started eating unhealthily is to not freak out.  A parent should approach the subject with a lot of sensitivity and in a gentle way, but more importantly - stop bringing unhealthy food into the house.  Concentrate shopping on fruit, vegetables, and other healthy foods.

The biggest concern is that with economic stress, the most important thing a parent needs to do may be out of reach:  counseling.

For more information, visit the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.  The site offers links about who to contact for a variety of eating issues.

How do you tell your kids about the loss of a job for one of the major household bread winners? This predicament is becoming more common as parents are laid off with jobs being transferred to India, factory closings, and other business reductions due to the still unsteady economy.

For young children, perhaps nothing needs to be said other than, “Play time!”

As children get older, it’s important not to transfer your stress to them - to allow them to be children even when money is tight.  You can explain that although the parent no longer works at a certain place, they will be looking for a job somewhere else and with prayers, patience, and perhaps some sacrifice (no more splurge buys at the local discount store) everything will be okay.

Teenage children are another story entirely.  Be honest with them.  Let them know - like with kids a bit younger - that the parent will continue to look for another job.  But ask for their help.  See if they can come up with ideas to help cut expenses or save money.

You might be surprised at their creativity and at what they’re willing to give up to help the family.

Photo by Banalities via flickr creative commons.

My friend has a daughter who is 10-years old.  Her baby desperately wants a Facebook page so she can play the games like Island Paradise, Farmville, and the Little Fishing games.  For the longest time, my friend said “Absolutely not!” but finally this week she capitulated.

When we talked about it, I suggested that she never get on unless her Mom is in the same room with her.  But there are other rules that parents should set when children establish facebook (or other social networking sites) accounts.

Besides the typical “don’t talk to strangers” and accept friend requests from people you don’t know, parents can immediately see what their kids are up to with an application called Parental Guidance by GoGoStat.  You set it up and then forward it to your child.  Once they accept also, you can set up guidelines.  According to MomLogic,

Once the child accepts the invitation, the application notifies the parent of status changes, new pictures, tagged photos, comments and posts that use certain language that may alert the parent to a cyber-bullying incident or even a sexual solicitation.

I think safety is everyone’s Number ONE priority and this application will help keep your children out of trouble.

We are leaving for vacation next week for a week near the ocean!  Okay, so my husband and oldest daughter Annie will have more fun since Erin and I will be spending our time in a gym at a baton twirling competition, but we will still have a couple of days to play!  Yay us!

However, since money has been tight this year I’ve been trying to come up with ways to save money while still having fun.  Here are some tips:

• Pack a cooler with plenty to drink: water, juice, soda.
• When you’re ready for lunch, pull into a grocery store and pick up some lunch meat, bread, and chips. You can have a picnic lunch at a rest area for under $10 rather than expensive unhealthy meals from a fast food restaurant.
• Use your cruise control. By maintaining a steady speed, you’ll improve your MPG.
• Kick off the air conditioner when the car is climbing a big hill or mountain to again use less gas.
• If you’re staying at a hotel, pick one that serves a hot or continental breakfast.
• Select a hotel that also offers free wi-fi rather than paying $8 or $20 p/day (if you HAVE to bring your computer).
• Don’t forget your beach towels!  Buying towels at those yucky tourist traps gets expensive!
• Make a packing list at least a week in advance so you can add to it as you remember items.  It’s a lot less expensive bringing your toothpaste from home than it is going out a buying yet another tube.
• If you do forget something, try to get off the beaten path to find a grocery store or discount store rather than picking up a 4-pack of double-A batteries for some outrageous price at one of the tourist stores.

Have a great vacation!

I am not a pageant Mom, for sure.  In fact, the weekend’s festivities were highlighted with me reminding Erin how much she *hated* being on the baton twirling team - a requirement for any girl who wins a title.  Nevertheless, Erin was named a grand champion of twirling with the group with whom she twirls.

Rah rah blah.  Yes, I’m proud of her.  Yes, she was outstanding.  Yes, all the other Moms hate me because I didn’t encourage and nurture her through the process.  But NO they don’t have to be the ones to get her out of the house for every event and listen to her grumpy crabbiness and the verbal sparring that occurs EVERY SINGLE TIME we have to be somewhere.  If she loved it, I would too.

Back to the popcorn, though.  After all the congratulations ended and the meetings were over, we loaded in the car to drive home.  We stopped at a cute little “general store” type retail that had some of the old fashioned pecan rolls and stick candy.  I spied a bag of buttery popcorn and the temptation was too great.  For $1.98, I was all in.

The popcorn melted in my mouth and was so delicious.  Until.   Until I accidentally chewed on the left side of my mouth - a side I always avoided when eating because of a sensitive tooth.  I heard a crack and pulled a kernel out.  Then my tongue rolled over my teeth and there was something missing.  Part of my tooth.

Now I’m going to the dentist and am debating whether I agree to another $1200 cap or if I should just tell them to pull the whole tooth for $200.  My finances dictate the latter and since it’s not a front (or visible) tooth, my vanity won’t get in the way.

Will know more in about two hours.  Wish me luck.

PS - The kernel I pulled out wasn’t a kernel at all.  TMI!

Erin pictured “jumping” for joy. Ha.

My brother has an above ground swimming pool that 1) His new puppy loves mudding under (they’ve put in gravel now to stop this), and 2) That often causes earaches when water gets in his ear.

Another brother offered a tip:  Put a drop of alcohol in the ears to clear out the water.  Apparently it works.  Not sure I’d want to try it though!  My solution was to hop on the foot opposite the ear that’s affected while tilting my head to allow the water to run out.  It also seems effective.

Swimmer Ear Remedies reports that alcohol is indeed a good option.  In addition, a hair dryer set to warm (not hot) can be used to dry the water.  But be careful… if you have swimmer’s ear you need to seek medical attention.  How can you tell?

Use this simple test to see if you have swimmer’s ear: grab your ear and pull it forward gently, and wiggle it. If the pain increases you more than likely have an ear problem that can be helped with one of the following remedies. If the pain stays the same, you may have a middle ear problem which will need medical attention.

Nothing hurts worse than an earache.  Except maybe a toothache.  Or a gall bladder attack.

I love this concept of dust-mopping shoes for hardwood, but wouldn’t it be fun for a wet mop, too?

Seriously if you’re going to mop, invest in a good one - today’s tip for housecleaning brought to you by Improving Your World.

Cheap mops can hold more dirt and you’ll find yourself mopping dirty water all over the place and more often because it’s not actually getting clean. Do yourself a big favor and get a good mop; not the most expensive one, but a good one that won’t make the floor dirtier as you clean.

I think it’s time for me to invest in a better mop!

When we were growing up, there were six of us kids at home and Dad was the only one who worked (in the military) outside the home.  We didn’t know we were poor because we were fed, happy, and encouraged to embrace whatever life threw our way.

But my brother’s post today about his daughter wanting her hair curled reminded me of our Mom’s curler box - it was a Kentucky Fried Chicken box that she had cleaned out.  She had pink curlers, black curlers, hair nets, and bobby pins inside that box.  I wonder if she still has it.

My brother’s daughter Beth wanted her hair curled,

… she was absolutely thrilled. I wish I had taken a photo of her this morning after the curlers came out, but being a Bad Dad, I neglected to do this. So all I have to publish for the whole world to see, is the before picture.  The upside to this is that it gets me out of brushing her hair.  Anyhow, she went to school this morning all dolled up and excited …

I can’t believe he didn’t take an “after” picture.  I’m not going to embarrass the kid (though she is PRECIOUS) with the before picture here.

We used “rag” curlers as teenagers because the round curlers were so not cool.  With rag curlers, you wet your hair then roll it up and tie it with a scrap of fabric.  The end result was pretty awesome - it made me look like Alannis Morisette.  Here’s a how-to link by Vixen Vintage and her intro to the process,

When searching the web for rag curl directions, I came across creepy child beauty pageant blogs that said “cut some fabric, wet your hair, roll it up, tie it”.

Do that and you will cry from the result.

After quite a while of doing rag curls on myself from chin length hair, to past shoulder length, I can show you the the the little things to know only learned from trial and error. So here is the correct way to do rag curls.

Photo by Sophication.