It looks like even after women fought for the right to vote, for the right to own property, for the right to equitable pay, we are still not equal.  A high school team in Arizona forfeited a championship baseball game because there was a – gasp! – girl on the other team!  It seems like cooties are something someone should have outgrown in elementary school!

From NBC Sports,

Mesa had beaten OLS twice during the regular season in games that Sultzbach sat out in respect of the other team’s religious objections. But when the state championship rolled around, Mesa Prep was no longer willing to turn the other cheek.

The girl’s Mom said,

“This is not a contact sport, it shouldn’t be an issue,” Pamela said. “It wasn’t that they were afraid they were going to hurt or injure her, it’s that (they believe) that a girl’s place is not on a field.”

Paige played softball and volleyball in junior high, but because Mesa Prep does not have a girls softball team, she decided to try out for the boys baseball team, with the coach’s encouragement.

Shaking my head…

My daughter was absolutely elated when she was finally offered a job. She had been searching for what seemed like months when she finally figured out that the absence of gas money was no fun.  So she filled out dozens of applications.  She had an interview at a frozen yogurt place and had given up on the job because she hadn’t heard back in nearly two weeks.

Then out of the blue, the manager called and asked if she could come in the next day for training.  Cartwheels! Happiness! She said the training was weird.  The manager wouldn’t make a copy of her social security card or other papers she needed to bring. She also stayed in her office while my daughter worked with another girl up front – someone she knew and liked from school.

It was an easy job.  Weigh the yogurts after people filled their cups, charge them the appropriate amount, and then keep the store cleaned up.

Before she left, she asked when she should return. The manager hadn’t worked out the schedule yet, she said, and would call her.  Two days passed and my daughter called the store.  The worker said she wasn’t on the schedule.  Today the manager called and explained that she randomly had five different people come in “for training.”  Of the five, she picked two to stay on and my daughter was not one of them.  She asked her to bring her shirt back and she would pay her for the one day of training.

First, is it not a violation of labor laws to pay someone without taking out social security, etc. which obviously she can’t do if she refused to make copies of her social security card.  Second, what a really horrible, despicable way to treat the young people who are trying to find their way in the world. Shame on them.

Photo from hungry meets healthy.

Parenting is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  How many other parents have said or thought those very words?  I know I have gone through some extremely difficult times with my girls.

Full ride scholarship to college and lost it?  Check.

Hours of therapy with one because she can’t stand me?  Check.

Getting both on birth control pills?  Check.

Sneaking out to date a boy that’s really the age of a man and talking to the police about it? Check.

Oh my own list could go on and on and on.  I definitely feel a great deal of sympathy for the author of My 4 Daughters Plus 2 who is going through some tough times of her own.

I am frustrated that one of my daughters believes she is entitled to anything she wants just because I brought her into this world, and who considers me the worst parent on the planet because I say no. And I am thoroughly disappointed that another cannot get out of bed to show up for school. I hate the powerlessness that comes with being the parent of an adult child who makes poor choices. And I despise myself for feeling that I have failed as a parent because they made those bad choices. The logical part of my brain knows I am not a failure. But my heart aches in hindsight at the different choices I could have made and the different lessons I could have taught my daughters so we could be looking at different outcomes today.

I hope her heart finds peace during this difficult time.

April is Autism Awareness Month, wit World Autism Awareness Day on April 2. I have a niece and nephew who are autistic.  The son of one of my best friends is autistic.  Autism is very common in today’s world with one in every 88 children diagnosed with the disorder.

The cause of autism is still unknown, but with efforts by parents, siblings, educators, and other friends and professionals at least more people are aware of autism and the behavior of autistic children and adults.  Recognizing this behavior is urgently important for first responers – whether EMTs, firefighters, or police offiers.  If a behavior is “out of character” from normal, police for example might react in an extreme manner.  Therefore their understanding the what they might view as threatening could really be curiousity.

During Autism Awareness Month, don’t be afraid to talk about the disorder.  Talk to family, friends, and neighbors and explain that an autistic individual might have trouble communicating. They might have trouble speaking – or pronounce words differently.  They may interpret words from an authority in a way that most people would not consider appropriate.  An sutistic person may not want to be touched.  They may seem quirky.

Show kindness, patience, and understanding to both the autistic and their family, in April and throughout the year.

Baby girl got a new job this week. While I am extremely pleased for her that she’s earning her own money, I am not-so-happy that she was supposed to get off at 9:30 p.m. and as I stare at the clock saying 10:30 p.m., she’s still not home.

Why does this worry me?  A friend’s daughter had a job and would say, “I’m going to work!”  She would then disappear to meet her friends under the guise of working.  Yes, I trust my daughter but that’s always in the back of my mind.

It also bothers me that this is a school night and she’s not home.  My guess is that she really did get off at 9:30, but is hanging around talking with her friends and new colleagues.

Where do you find that balance with kids making their own way in the world, but still balancing the responsibility of being a parent to a teenager?  I do not have all the answers for sure, but am trying to muddle my way through it!

Photo by dottieg2007.

I say on this one Puppy 1, Baby 0 !!

Too cute, but that baby will get even some day!

I am the newest stalker over at pinterest.com.  I love that dang site, particularly the humor pages.  The funniest one of the day said, “Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken.”  Yes.

However real life is not perfectly folded clothes, adorable cupcakes that look like high heels, and perfectly coiffed hair.  Jill Smokler over at Scary Mommy shows some real life v. pinterest photos that you can’t miss!  For example,

Pinterest Playroom

Real Life Playroom

Haha! THANK YOU, Jill, for reassuring all of us!

I got to hold a three-month old baby girl today – she was so tiny it seemed more like she was a month old.  She smiled at me and at another colleague.  Her eyes look just like her Momma’s eyes.  It was wonderful.

Then I saw a whimsical piece of writing on Beauty and Dreams titled, “Little Girl, Fluffy Hair.”  It’s beautiful, it’s sad, it’s heart breaking.

I know it’s wrong. Maybe she’s ill. Maybe somewhere in her icy, little heart she loves her. I should have compassion, reserve judgement..

But I wanted to climb in her lap

and slap that

screeching

mouth

shut.

Little girl, fluffy hair

Round cheeks and

tummy

and sad brown eyes…

If I had all the right words, I would write

a poem for you, a real one.

Photo by Adaggio Art.

As a seasoned real estate agent, I mentored several new agents when they first started out.  I loved being able to extend a helping hand as people figured it out and got their feet wet.  I also served as a mentor to at least three dozen girls as a Girl Scout leader.  Mentoring can be extremely fulfilling, frustrating, joyful, and worrisome.

But when you mentor, it’s not just for you.  It’s for a child who needs encouragement. For a teenager who needs an extra lift every now and then.  For someone like Angie got,

Megan was not exactly what I expected.

I expected to walk in and see a teenager flip me off. 

When I picked her up, she immediately divulged how excited she was, how she’d been thinking of it all day.  She was beaming.

I expected a teenager who spoke in code, grunts and only on the subject of hairspray.

We went to a coffee shop and she talked so fast my ears bled.  At one point, she interrupted herself to tell me how nervous she was.  Then she laid out all her “issues” for me like an open book.

Such a sweet story, this one. Consider becoming a mentor.

When we lost our cat Pootster a couple of years ago when she began having massive convulsions.  My own kids were – at least – teenagers, so while they were sad they understood that she was no longer in pain.  However with younger children, saying goodbye to a pet is a lot harder.  My friend Les just had to go through this with his daughters,

Felix was from a litter of kittens found at the Knoxville zoo. He was diagnosed with diabetes around five years ago. Since then we’ve been checking his blood glucose and giving him insulin and he outlived all predictions. We buried him in a wooded section of the yard and marked his grave with a stone. The girls took it pretty hard, so we had a little ceremony and everyone said something nice about Felix.

I think the best advice is to tell children that of course it hurts to say goodbye.  Then having a memorial and burying the pet can also help a child transition with this type of loss.

We’re sorry, though, for Felix.