With so many terrible things that can happen to teenagers, one that you wouldn’t likely suspect is that he or she has an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend.  Rihanna dramatically proved that it’s not just a spouse who can clobber you.  If it can happen to someone beautiful, famous, and rich, then it can happen to anyone.  She also showed that it is possible to escape from the abuse – an important message for everyone.

What are the signs that your teen might be in an abusive relationship?  Overly controlling, verbal abuse, unexplained bruises, withdrawn from family and friends, dropping grades, says boyfriend/girlfriend is jealous.  There are many other signs according to Julia Bodeeb, and it may be up to the parent to step in,

So as a parent, if you suspect your teenager is in an abusive relationship it is very important to be proactive and talk to your teenager. If the teenager shows signs of abuse such as becoming withdrawn, bruises, injuries, or other unexplained changes seek counseling for the teenager. Don’t wait until the abuse escalates, seek help immediately.

Teens need to know they can end an abusive relationship, but they shouldn’t do it alone.  Scary though it sounds, tell your teen they should confide in you or another adult (grandparents, neighbor, school teacher, law enforcement, guidance counselor, minister, friend of your parents, parents of your friend).  Teach them it’s also okay to ask a friend to confide for them if they can’t.

Don’t rely on yourself alone to get out of the situation. Friends and family who love and care about you can help you break away. It’s important to know that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It actually shows that you have a lot of courage and are willing to stand up for yourself.

Let’s hope our own children aren’t being abused by a boyfriend or girlfriend.  But if they are, as a parent you should go to the same resources above to get help if you feel uncertain about what to do.

Photo by Benny Lin via Flickr creative commons.