Take a look at this video of a fight captured by a student at
Hillsboro High School. The video shows an officer attempting to take
control of the situation as children begin shouting and escalating
chaos.It’s sad to see how some students have little respect for law
enforcement or their fellow students. The parents of children that
bring this type behavior into our school system ought to be ashamed of
themselves, but the sad fact is most of them are not at all ashamed
because the law doesn’t hold them accountable enough and the media
fails to track down the parents and tell the real story. We charge
people with more crimes for allowing their uncontrollable dogs to rip
through our neighborhoods than we do allowing their unleashed children
to do even more harm.
Let me reiterate the one line that really gets me here: The parents of children that
bring this type behavior into our school system ought to be ashamed of
themselves, but the sad fact is most of them are not at all ashamed
because the law doesn’t hold them accountable enough and the media
fails to track down the parents and tell the real story. Seriously, what?
Let’s break this down. Essentially what Christian is saying here is that the parents of students that get into fights in school should be held legally accountable for their kid’s actions. Mind you, by the time a kid gets in high school they’re practically adults. But let’s hold the parents accountable for their kid’s actions, shall we?
I have no doubt in my mind that bad parenting has caused a whole lot of kids to "go bad". However, even the best parents end up with kids who misbehave. I simply do not accept that bad parenting is the only thing that causes bad kids.
And what about the parents who aren’t exactly bad parents, but are absent for whatever reason? Take the kid of the single mom who has to work 3 jobs so they have a place to live and food to eat. Their kid acts out, gets in a fight, the single mom is charged with a crime, the mom goes to jail, they lose their house, the kid gets put in the system, becomes even worse. Will they hunt down the absent father, too? How much will this cost the taxpayers?
I have a novel idea: let’s hold the kids accountable for their actions. Not just suspending or expelling them- I used to know girls who looked forward to getting kicked out of school for some time off. That’s not punishment, that’s a reward. Let’s start actually punishing kids who misbehave in school. And, instead of *punishing* the parents, let’s bring them in for conferences both with and without the kids so they can start helping school officials figure out what will motivate the kid.
Other countries don’t seem to have the problem with school violence and gangs and violence as we do. What do you think is the difference?
Add to:
What about the fact that this "fight" may not have anything to do with "bad parenting" and Christian is just trolling for controversy?
Posted by: Mark Mays | April 7th, 2008 3:33 pm |
I think bad parenting has a lot to do with how bad children behave in public. If parents faced consequences along with their child for illegal behavior, I bet parents that didn't otherwise care would wear their chidlren's behinds out a lot more when it mattered.
Posted by: Christian | April 7th, 2008 3:50 pm |
Yes, because hitting your kid sure is a good way to get them to stop being violent.
Posted by: Ivy | April 7th, 2008 3:56 pm |
Unruley children need a spanking. Some adults need a good spanking, too.
Posted by: Christian | April 7th, 2008 4:01 pm |
Unruly children need strict, firm discipline, not to be hit. There are plenty of ways to discipline without resorting to violence. I personally like the boot camp method for especially bad kids- take everything out of their room but a mattress and 2 outfits, which they are responsible for keeping neat and clean.
Of course, this is for the teen/preteen set, you can't boot camp a misbehaving 4 year old.
Posted by: Ivy | April 7th, 2008 4:10 pm |
you wrote:
"even the best parents end up with kids who misbehave."
I don't really believe that. there are so many parents (and people in general) who put on a good show for their neighbors, family and friends who in reality are lousy people, and are lousy at parenting.
a good neighbor, or lawabiding person is not necessarily a good parent.
Posted by: kevin | April 7th, 2008 4:15 pm |
I'll throw in, that a lot of YOUNG misbehaving children in particular are the victims of misplaced expectations. My 2yo this weekend for instance — couldn't sit still during a play I took him to. I forgot to check the length of the play. You can't expect a 2yo to sit still and quiet for 2 1/2 hours. [He made it 2 hrs, 15 min....a world's record, I'm sure.]
I'd be willing to bet big money that many of the temper tantrums you see at the grocery store are caused by low blood sugar [time to eat] or tired kids.
Posted by: lcreekmo | April 7th, 2008 4:19 pm |
I think the children in the video I shared could care less about wearing the same thing everyday. They need Daddy to give them a good spanking… and maybe a dose of Mommy's bootcamp.
Posted by: Christian | April 7th, 2008 4:19 pm |
Kevin: I disagree. I myself have very good parents, but due to an event in my childhood that was totally beyond their control, I was hellbent on destroying my own life and anyone else in it. I still struggle against that tendency to this day- and it's not my parents' fault.
lcreekmo: TOTALLY agreed. I've been there and done that many times myself.
Christian: Ha. It's clearly been a long, long time since you were a teenager. I'd be willing to bet that having to wear the same thing every day is a punishment worse than death for some of them. Plus, you're taking away the cell phone, the TV and all the other amenities. That hurts a whole lot worse than just a spanking. Look at that kid- do you think there's an adult big enough to give him a spanking that would really make him stop and think, "Oh, I'd better behave?" Nothing short of assaulting the kid would really work, and assaulting your kid is still illegal, thank God.
Posted by: Ivy | April 7th, 2008 4:35 pm |
I'm starting to think that Kevin and Christian are just arguing for the hell of it. I mean, really? Are y'all for real?
There are kids out there who have definitely been screwed up by parental neglect or abuse. But at some point [and I'd argue this point is both earlier and later in adolescence than you might think] — you become responsible for your own actions.
There are also people out there who have been given what appears to be a model childhood, but who don't respond.
Authoritarian parenting isn't the solution. You want to teach kids to think for themselves and thereby come up with the right answers — not make them "act right" out of a fear of authority. That leads to subversiveness at best.
Posted by: lcreekmo | April 7th, 2008 4:56 pm |
Ivy, you are right about the size of that kid. Fat kids are hard to spank, and they definitley grow children rather large around here.
Not to get to far off the spankened path here, but dietary discipline is one of the most important things a parent can do in early childhood development. A parent that really cares what their kids eat and when they eat is likely to be a parent with a level of self-control that permeates how they approcah disciplining their children. A parent that cares about what their children eat and when is less likely to have discipline problems and more likely to raise a child that respects other people.
When a parent doesn't care what they eat and satisfies their child's #1 need with a lack of dietary discipline, they might as well be hard-wiring a child with a sense of entitlement to everything in life that when challenged by authority is met with whining and imposing their large selves on others.
Posted by: Christian | April 7th, 2008 5:50 pm |
I do not agree with Christian on several points.
One, I do not with comparing a dog with a child. A dog is an animal that does not think, it is trained. We punish the owneer of a dog when it is a problem because the owner has not trained it properly. With a child the parent is teaching him or her concepts of how to behave properly and evaluate situations. When you first have a child, you watch them every second, but as they get older you allow them to enter act with their peers and make some decisions for themselves.
Two, I also agree with Ivy that spanking is not an appropriate punishment for a teenager. I have spanked my child, and I believe I was correct in choosing that punishment for his stage of life (he is 2). Teenagers are affected more by removing priviledges than spanking.
Lastly, teenagers do succumb to peer pressure, even the best kids. When I was in college I took a class in criminal justice administration from a parole/probation officer. One of his cases involved a 15 year-old who shoplifted name-brand clothing from the local department store. The child was convicted and the father had to pay for the clothes that were stolen, clothes he really could not afford. He told my instructor that the teenager's punishment, in addition to what the juvenile court decided, was to cut those clothes into rags and use them to do chores at their house. I believe this is an example of a good parent who had a child make a bad decision.
Using bad parenting to explain every child that exhibits bad behavior is lazy and convenient. We do not raise our children in a vacuum, and they do have outside influence, some good and some bad. As parents we need to give them knowledge and reason to make correct decisions, and strength, support, and courage to do the right thing.
Posted by: Jessica | April 7th, 2008 7:38 pm |
Christian, in spite of your theories, I refuse to blame your parents for how you turned out.
Posted by: Aunt B. | April 8th, 2008 9:28 am |
Well said Aunt B.!
Posted by: KellyBax | April 8th, 2008 12:19 pm |