I was at the fabric store the other day and Spidey, my 4 year old, was acting up. Badly. It was terribly embarassing, he was running around, touching everything, and defying my every attempt to get him to behave. Finally, I put him in time out right there in the checkout line.

"Sit down, you’re in time out, don’t move," I told him, probably in an annoyed voice. Okay, I know it was an annoyed voice because the old lady in line behind me decided it was a good time to tell me how to parent my child. "You’re being too harsh, he doesn’t want to be here, he shouldn’t be in trouble for wanting to run around and be a little boy."

Gee, thanks, lady. I appreciate the advice, next time I’ll be sure to let him run around and tear up the store. I gave her a half smile and mumbled something like "Thank you" at her. She then proceeded to tell me how when her children were little, she’d let Dad "babysit" (barf, barf, barf) the kids so she could go to the fabric store in peace. Sure, that might have worked for her, since I’m assuming she either had a husband that worked days, Monday through Friday with weekends off, or perhaps she was a stay at home mom, or whatever. But that’s not how my family works. My husband is a restaurant manager. I work weekdays, he works weekends and nights. He and I are hardly ever in the same place at the same time where he can stay with the kids so I can go to the fabric store all by my lonesome.

Of course, I didn’t have all day to explain this to the woman, so I just gave her the same half-smile and said, "I sure wish I could do that." Then she started ranting about single mothers and how divorce is ruining the country, blah, blah, blah. It’s times like these that I wish I wasn’t painfully shy so I could give her a verbal smackdown, but shyness trumped my anger and I turned around and ignored her.

On the other side of the coin, my mom was going on about how "soft" my discipline is. Is it possible to win with anyone? Could one person just once say, "You’re doing a good job, keep up the good work" to a harried mother with a preschooler instead of either telling her what a crappy job she’s doing as a parent or else giving her the evil eye?

Ya know, I think I will do that next time I see a mom struggling with her kid in public. I’m always afraid to say anything in fear they might take what I’m saying the wrong way, but maybe if I break out the full smile with the compliment, it might work. That is, if shyness doesn’t trump bravery. We shall see.