Motherhood + Career + Working from Home = EXTREME GUILT 

Any mom that works from home will know exactly what I
mean. Chances are you chose to work from home in order to be able to spend more
time with your kids. But anyone working from home knows the challenges of
trying to separate work from family life is difficult at best.
In fact it’s a
real juggling act. Added to it is the tremendous guilt we deal with on a daily
basis. Guilt that is compounded when your little one asks you why you work all
the time, or when you say to them "wait until I get off the phone"
and they respond, "You’re always on the phone". Then to boot, your
spouse who works away from the home and has 9 hours of uninterrupted time a
day, time to work out 3 days a week and visit with family and friends at lunch every so often too, comes
home and asks what’s for dinner, why is there no milk and when are you going to
have some time for him? Last but not least, some of your friends feel neglected
because they can’t understand the tremendous pressures that we endure each and
every day that we try to do it all. The guilt piles higher and higher as you
try to find a way to be all things to all people.

You have also been in many conversations with stay at
home mothers who taut the tremendous sacrifices they are making by staying home
to be there for their kids. You ask yourself "am I doing the right
thing"? Are we selfish, uncaring
and not there for our kids because we work? The answer is a resounding NO!

For years I chimed in with all of my non-working friends
that I believe that being a stay at home mom was harder than being a working
mom. But you know what…I don’t think I really believe that anymore. I don’t
know, maybe I never did? Maybe it just helped relieve my guilt a little to
agree with those friends so they didn’t judge me quite so much. If they thought
I was on their side maybe I wouldn’t feel so guilty? Don’t get me wrong, it is hard
to be a stay at home mom, but it’s hard to be a working mom too. Being a good
wife, good mother, good sister, good daughter and good friend is exhausting.
And because of all of that guilt, we leave no time for ourselves because we
have to make up for the time that we are away from our families being those
terrible people who have careers.

One of the positive things that I find about being a
working a working mom is that because of those hours out of the day that I am
away from my kids, I DON’T have a desire to make plans WITHOUT them very often.
I look forward to being with them every minute I can. I think it can be a
healthy environment for our kids to be raised in a home with working parents.
Author Rebecca Garland who is a teacher, writer and working mother wrote an
article for Suite 101  on
Handling the Pressures of Balancing Work and Family. I particularly enjoyed
what she had to say in "Who’s Raising My Child?" She says… 

"There is great debate over this, but it has been
shown in studies time and time again that working away from home is NOT
negatively impacting your child. For many mothers it feels unnatural to be away
from a little one, and for others it feels unnatural to be with a baby
twenty-four hours a day. It doesn’t matter if your child spends two, four, or
eight hours a day with another care-giver, the caregiver is not raising your
baby – you are." 

She goes on to make a point that some children are
probably getting even more attention with a caregiver. She says…

"Nannies
and babysitters are able to focus solely on baby as they aren’t also trying to
plan dinner, pay bills, and return phone calls the way we always seem to
be." 

When I was a stay at home mom for the first 3 years of my
oldest child’s life, I found that although I loved being with my son and loved
being a mom I was also often bored with my long days of baby play and toddler conversation. Because of that, my pass
time was spending money, shopping or looking for my next lunch buddy. Over
eating and over spending was not a great combination for me. Now again, don’t
misinterpret me here, I have tremendous respect for true stay at home moms. It
is a difficult, thankless job that never ends. Not every woman is cut out for
it. But I finally realized that I am no less of a mom than they are because I
chose a different path. My kids still need me just as much, I still have all of
the motherly duties that need to be done; I just have less time to do them. Personally, in
addition to the day in and day out tasks of motherhood , I also run two
Companies, manage multiple people, cultivate a relationship with my husband and
try to be a friend in between. If I have to sacrifice some personal time then
so be it. My kids know I love them, my husband knows I care and my true friends
will stick around for those moments of time that I can steal away. 

So hears to all the working mothers! You’re Awesome! You
have drive, ambition and are a great example to your daughters on how to have
it all! With statistics showing that nearly 75% of mothers are in the work force today, I say it is time we let go of the 1950’s mentality. The chances are your
daughters will have careers. Who better to train them for what is to come than
their mom! Keep up the good work.